#011—How to find people you actually like...
Hey all, hope you all took some time to rest and recharge after my email last week. I know I did, and I’ve come back this week more fueled than ever.
As I’m writing this, I’m thinking about fuel: the feeling/energy that energizes us and keeps us focused. What is that energy for you?
I think for me, it has come down to the people around me and their energy. Are they positive? Inspired? Confident? I’ve also noticed that my environment plays a big role in my energy too, and so I’ve worked really hard to surround myself with inspirational art, warm colors, and knick-knacks that bring me joy.
But even within the warmest of environments, if I have people with negative energy around me, no inspirational poster will shield me. I’ve had to be very intentional about my people: those with energy that empowers and complements mine, and vice versa.
So how did I go about finding these people? I’ll elaborate in Final Thoughts.
Now, let’s get to this week’s resources. 🎊
💼 CAREERS AND JOB HUNTING
Last week, I got an email from a woman whose business had been devastated by COVID. She shared that she had been trying to hang on to her business for months, and it had become hard for her to think clearly about what she needed to do. The business was her life, and she couldn’t stop rehashing the pros and cons of letting it go.
She told me that it wasn’t until she saw my email on the opportunity cost mental model, that she realized what she was actually missing out on by holding on to her business. She recognized that she had been in denial—a tendency I know we’re all familiar with.
Her email made me realize that not only should we be talking about the quality of our mental models, but also our tendencies as we navigate life and our careers. And coincidentally, a friend of mine shared:
Charlie Munger’s (of Berkshire Hathaway fame) speech where he outlined 20 tendencies that make us do dumb things. My next goal is to create a series that exposes people to those tendencies and how to beat them. Stay tuned!
Contrary Talent has a weekly newsletter where they share a review of different startup jobs. Check it out here
If you’re looking for a new engineering role, A Happy Job is a fun service to look into.
And if you’re just looking for some inspiration or creativity fuel, check out these creative people in business.
👋 SOCIAL AND PROFESSIONAL HANGOUTS
Self-Care Inner Workout
August 7th, 9:00 a.m. PDT
This modified version of Inner Workout's signature self-care through movement, breathwork, meditation and journaling class is a welcome respite during the work day. This practice seamlessly blends chair-based movement, breath work, journaling, and meditation to help participants relax and reflect. Please bring a journal and a pen. Details here.
Career Hacks to Manage your Manager
August 11th, 7:00 p.m. PDT
Join our online event as we deep dive into tips you can use with your manager and colleagues to set yourself up for success in these remote times and beyond. More details here.
Coaching & Coffee
August 12th, 8:00 a.m. PDT
Ready to take that next step in your life, career and leadership? Join us for a monthly conversation with certified coaches to gain clarity and confidence to be empowered to take that leap. Each month will feature a different conversation focused on helping you achieve the next steps to success in your personal and professional adventures. Details here.
Develop a Success-Oriented Mindset
August 12th, 12:00 p.m. PDT
Join us August 12th for a fireside chat with Leadership and Performance Coach, Robyn Ward. Robyn will share frameworks and tools used by high-performing CEOs to achieve success in uncertain times. Whether searching for a job, your next promotion, or a new career path, don’t miss this opportunity to up-level your game. More details here.
⭐ FINAL THOUGHTS
So, how do you find people you actually like and want to be around?
I was speaking to a friend recently, and she asked me how I found my people and built the support system that I have today. My first instinct was to send her a list of FB groups and Slack channels that I belonged to, where I first met many of these people. But I stopped myself. I realized that it’s not just about joining a thousand groups and trying to make friends with everyone.
It’s about alignment.
And when I say alignment, I don’t mean just a shared interest or two.
Trust me, I went this route—I joined a ton of groups to find people who enjoyed the same hobbies as me. But that didn’t immediately lead me to finding people I truly aligned with.
So to find alignment, I asked myself:
What do I want out of the relationships around me? What do I want to receive?
What do I have to offer? What do I want to give or help with?
I know that might sound transactional, but what you want to “receive” and “give” don’t have to be items or anything that makes the relationship lopsided. Instead, the give and take could be based on knowledge or expertise that helps both of you grow and get better. It can be related to your personality, your energy, your network, etc.
Whatever the case, write down your answers to numbers one and two so that you have them in front of you.
Then go out and use those groups, Slack channels, or virtual meetups. When you meet someone you think you might align with, hop on a call with them so you can have a conversation.
You’ll know almost immediately if this is someone you really align with. It’s that feeling like you’ve known them for years, even though you’ve just met. When you’re both saying, “Exactly!” and laughing a lot, that’s usually a good sign.
Ever since I shifted my focus on building aligned, mutually beneficial relationships, I’ve met so many incredible people, with very different interests and from a variety of backgrounds, but all who share core values.
You won’t align with everyone, and that’s okay. But over time, you’ll start to build your own support system of people who you talk to and spend time with because of a real connection. And that’s a very liberating and fulfilling place to be.
Hope this helps you build some magical connections! And let me know how you go about finding your people. I always love to hear from you.
Thanks for reading,