#013—How to get rid of beliefs that limit you

Hey all! This week has been something… I’m away from my CA home right now but have been hearing about the heat waves and outages. 😞 Hope everyone is safe.  

So this week, I’m keeping a promise I made to several of you that responded to my last email.

Last week, I wrote about the seeds we plant in our subconscious and why it’s important to look through your garden frequently.  You’ve got to make sure you like what you’ve planted! Almost everyone that wrote back to me asked pretty much the same thing:

“But how do I get rid of things that I realize have been planted for a while? What can I actually do about limiting beliefs once I notice them?”

Sharing more on this in Final Thoughts!

By the way, if you haven’t had a chance yet, join the 10-day Think Better Challenge.  You can do it at your own time, and the “challenges” are all personal.  I promise it’ll help you get better every single day, and if it doesn’t, you can just not do it…

And now, on to this week’s resources 🎉


💼 CAREERS AND THE JOB SEARCH

One of the hardest things to realize as you get older is that so many of our limiting beliefs come from the people around us.

I spoke with LaToya Zavala recently on my podcast (you can listen here), and her story encapsulates this perfectly. LaToya grew up in a community where women simply were not given the same opportunities as men. Despite her unwavering dedication and success, she was constantly told she wasn’t good enough. When she decided she wanted to be a military chaplain, her mentor told her that wasn’t for her. 

She did it anyway. And again, in the military, she found people who tried to limit her—they told her point blank they wouldn’t follow a woman of color. Yet as I write this, she’s finishing up eight years as a chaplain in the military. 

It took relentless self-confidence and belief, but she did it.

If there’s anything I want you to take away from her story it’s this: only you get to decide what you are capable of. It’s tough to remember that, especially when you realize how often society asks us to define ourselves by others’ opinions. A common job interview question is “How would your friends and/or family describe you?” And yet for so many people, the answer to that wouldn’t be anywhere close to a true indication of who they are.

LaToya’s community would have described her as being weak or less than capable—but she defined herself differently. And that’s really how she got to where she is today. 

  • If you’re looking for a community that empowers you, or simply want to find a community related to your interests, check out the Newsletter Stack.  They curate newsletters related to a bunch of different topics, like Digital Tribes and Creativity.

  • When I hire, I’m always looking to learn about how someone thinks and approaches their work.  Regardless of what I’m hiring for, I always ask for a portfolio or some indicator of work that has been done.  For some roles, portfolios are super easy (like design, writing, development, marketing, etc).  For other roles, like Sales and Customer Success, knowing what to add to a portfolio can be difficult.  So here’s what I recommend:

Think about your results from your last few jobs and how you can share your journey to achieving those results with someone.  For example, in Sales, I like to know what type of clients you have worked with, what tools you used, what your sales process was, conversion metrics, etc.  You can simply create a portfolio with different “client case studies” that illustrate your sales process.  And be mindful of anything that needs to be kept confidential for any of your previous companies!

  • Modern Day has curated a list of 100+ ways to make money online, from freelance jobs to translation services, etc

  • If you’re actively freelancing, or want to start freelancing, companies are using FreeUp to hire highly recommended freelancers.  You can apply to be one through their site.


👯‍♀️ SOCIAL AND PROFESSIONAL HANGOUTS

  • Design Your Dream Job

August 21st, 9:00 a.m. PDT

A Gallup study found that nearly 70% of people feel disengaged by their work. In other words, they work because they have to, not because they want to. If that sounds like you, then join us for this solution-oriented workshop. We will help you to discover what matters most when it comes to finding inspiring work. We’ll then teach you a clear and compelling approach to find, and get, a job you love faster. It won’t happen all at once, but this workshop can jumpstart your journey towards finding joy and meaning in your work. Details here.

  • Unlearn Imposter Syndrome

September 1st, 12:00 p.m. PDT

Does your Inner Critic tell you that you don’t have it in you to succeed? That you are too old to change careers or have lost too much time doing something else? Being self-critical can push us to strive and excel, but the critical internal voice is not a sustainable motivator: As it wants us to be perfect at all times, it keeps us from growing and developing. The good news is that it is possible to turn the Inner Critic from a major drag into an effective support voice or even an ally. More details here.

  • Networking From Your Couch

September 2nd, 3:30 p.m. PDT

As social networks ever-expand, connecting with anyone online seems easy with a single tap. The convenience of networking online has become even more prominent in recent times as face to face interactions have become limited. Yet, this only makes it harder to stand out amongst the crowd. Beyond connecting, it can be a struggle to have the meaningful conversations needed to forge professional relationships. If you're looking to make a career switch, break into a new industry, or just find more professionals to interact with, now is the best time to get creative in meeting and bonding with new contacts. Join us as we talk about how to build not just professional, but authentic connections by tailoring your message in your outreach correctly. We'll discuss the best practices to keep in mind while networking over video conferencing and how to present the best version of yourself digitally. Details here.

  • Personal Branding over Brunch

September 25th, 9:00 a.m. PDT

Ever wonder how those really big brands out there came to be? How do people recognize them, use them and trust them? Want to know how you can build your own personal brand so your network recognizes you and trusts you? Let's dive in together over a virtual brunch! More details here.


✨ FINAL THOUGHTS 

Be. Do. Have. That’s the formula I use for reversing my limiting beliefs.

Instead of thinking about what I want, I think about who I’ll be when I have those things. 

For example, if you had your dream career, who would you be? Don’t think about how you’ll get it or when it will happen. Instead, focus on the traits you think you’d have. Confident? Intuitive? Resourceful? 

I’ve always done a good job of betting on myself; I knew I needed to in order to have my dream career.  But I still found myself experiencing thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” or “Nobody needs this.”

But once I understood the “Be, Do, Have” , I simply thought through what having my dream career would make me feel and be like.  I’d be someone who feels:

  • Relentless confidence and unwavering self-belief

  • Fulfilled

  • Purposeful

  • Intuitive

  • Authentic

  • Inspired

  • Resourceful

So then, I began focusing my energy on becoming those things instead of on the negative beliefs. 

And then I realized that once I truly started becoming that type of person, I started doing things that type of person would do and as a result, ending up having the results I was hoping to achieve originally. 

In other words, a confident, intuitive, resourceful person will probably end up in a job they love. 

The same thing goes for anything you want, whether it be your dream house, dream finances, or dream environment. By focusing on who you’ll be when you have them, you direct your energy in a way that aligns with your goals instead of limits you.

Here’s an activity I like to do.  Grab a piece of paper and pen.  Write down “Dream Career,” “Dream Finances,” etc.

  1. Think through who you’d be once you have those dreams.

  2. Once you know the traits you want, write them down.

  3. Then, repeat them to yourself often. I do this every single morning. Repetition is basically watering the seeds you’ve deliberately planted. 

  4. And as they begin to sprout and grow, your subconscious garden will simply have less room for those limiting beliefs. The weeds will eventually get choked out. 

Be the type of person you want to be and more likely than not, you’ll start doing the things to have what you want. 

Be happy,

Shireen